Research

It is like a relationship – it's about respect. I have been thinking about it a lot. People feel like they're being attacked with areas of trauma and heavy stuff. It is so important to have basic respect. If I don’t respect someone, I don’t really take on board what they’re saying. In order to actualize our intentions, there needs to be some form of respect. Without that, there can’t be change. Respect not to feel that we can't be attacked. If everyone is telling you the same thing – there is probably some weight.

Why did there even have to be that separate thing (talking about disability). Why does there even have to be these organisations. I would like people to change to think of differences as a good thing, you can't ignore differences - to me that is a great thing.

In whatever relationship you have, there are two parties who bring their own perspectives on life, and it’s about how you help people to be true to themselves but also to understand about the other person and where they’re coming from and to be more tolerant and accepting.

The move on, it’s usually about you, telling me to move on. One of the skills we need to learn that we are intelligent enough to deal with complexity. What I find is that everything goes back to the duality: me right, you wrong. The only way we can change and grow as people when we are willing to be part of the collective.

If you understand the NZ circumstance, for hundreds of years it was the home of Māoridom which is made up of many different iwi. We had a collective agreement amongst us. We need to bring this out more, this understanding of people born in other countries. This understanding of before Europeans came here. Some of what they brought is good, but then there was colonising.

I don’t want to be in a country where you’re treated differently if you wear a hijab, or didn’t. I don’t want to live in that country where March 15 [happened]. A lot of that is about building understanding and respect.

When I’m in a situation where diversity is obvious because of skin colour or clothing or religious practices. Being able to be comfortable together and accept those differences. We’re not a melting pot, that’s not belonging.

it’s mutual understanding and respect with each other, regardless of where we come from.

Something that will make me feel like I do belong is for people to acknowledge that some things they say is offensive to me.

To be able to self-identify with culture, religion, gender and to be able to do that safely without being discriminated.

People, in all walks of life, need to be aware that people are different and we have to be respectful.

Representation is a central theme; diversity is so important. When you see people, who are different whether they or on a poster, TV, news, you feel like it’s okay to be different.

Society should really respect everyone. If we boil down what needs to be done, it is respect for everyone where Human Rights of all are respected.

And that sense of acceptance. If we could just accept each other, as a human with their identity and their space and their agency.

I'd like to change people's thinking. Why do we even have to think about inclusion, why doesn't it just happen. I was talking inclusiveness because of this, it's a real feeling of why are there people who feel like you shouldn't belong. Why is it even [a] question.

Removing superficial barriers like gender and ethnicity and socioeconomics.

it’s mutual understanding and respect with each other, regardless of where we come from.

Work on the deliberate normalisation and celebration of difference.

This idea of the ‘norm’ and ‘exclusion of difference’: we usually talk more about big differences like racism and homophobia, but listening to last person made me realise these small things in society (personal, non-obvious) things about someone are usually overlooked and not taken into account.

Treating people [of different sexual orientation /gender identity] like people.

Non-judgmental and acceptance of difference

This hui comes out of that incident at the mosque. It comes down to accepting people’s beliefs and religions and once we accept those things, we’ll all belong to the society.

Our system’s based on deep psychology of othering people, putting them in deep boxes. There’s a key transformation that really honours difference, a rich diversity, but honouring our commonality as well. Thinking in terms of organising. I’m thinking post-Covid organising as well.

Would be great if we just acknowledge, or learn our history and our cultures. Just be inclusive, we do it because we want to.

People who have a disability being included in the schooling system, it needs to be other way. People in the majority culture learning about their experiences [ie experiences of people with disabilities]. Even this forum, it would be interesting to see more Pākeha representation. [I told her that we have had many Pākeha in our conversations]

You might not believe in being homosexual, we might not believe what other people do, but we have to accept that there’s not one way. There was a little boy who was in kindergarten who had a disability. And he said their blueprint is different to ours, that’s all.

It’s about learning each others ways and cultures. I used to facilitate in kura, challenging gender stereotypes. He was a white man, he was nice, but would say, “you know you people once were warriors”. Learning about prior histories, lots of different cultures. Indian.

Breastfeeding is a very minor part of it [creating safe and inclusive spaces], but I would love to have a little pocket to move forward within the health world. It might be that it lands in a completely different space

A change in the language [in relation to gender/sexual identity]: Experiences rather than differences.

So that's one change that would support belonging cos there's masses of young people who will be neurodiversity, LGBT, different shades of brown and white. They don't get seen and that not a privilege, it’s a right.

Creating a culture of acceptance. Creating a space for them to be themselves and have a voice. They are stigmatised in so many ways. People put them into groups and boxes. How you were brought up. How you value people. Creating a space of acceptance. I’ve carried this into the church I now attend. I advocate for vulnerable people wherever I go. You need to get rid of those mindsets that have stigmatisation around them, discrimination around them. If you are a community that embraces all ethnicities. When a gentleman comes in off the street who doesn’t dress like you, look like you, think like you, you have to accept them. If you can’t do that, what’s the point of having a church that’s supposed to accept everybody.

Full agency and full respect for difference. That’s what the future looks like.

We need to move to a Treaty based culture that pushes Pākehā off the pedestal of being the norm, and it becomes one of the ethnicities.

Diversity and inclusion are very big in all the government departments but take it into the board room or the corporations and it will take a long time to get there.

The representation needs to be taken into account.

Same things as language. Chairman – language that shows discrimination you can’t se yourself there. Xxx I see there is something around knowledge.

Being in spaces where diversity is celebrated. Safe spaces are created for all voices to be heard leading to better outcomes for organisations and people.

The main thing is to educate people to accept that people have different faith, different ethnicity, that they can be attracted to the same sex, all sorts of differences.

Create an environment that is equitable for all voices to be heard. A dialogue that creates deep belonging. Looking at that wider view of the wellbeing of our plant. I feel a sense of responsibility as a mum, as a community member, to somehow create a place for everyone to belong.

The other part of it is fear as well, fear of branching out, fear that you may be turned away because you’re different, not being accepted as who you are. More opportunities to spend time and interact with people who are different to us. We could do more of [this].

Representation is a central theme; diversity is so important. When you see people, who are different whether they or on a poster, TV, news, you feel like it’s okay to be different.

Policies are set by people of privilege [relates to disability]

Having an appreciation of other people’s culture. You get out of your box. I have more empathy towards immigrants of other cultures, because you see them differently [due to the overseas experience], because you are now that immigrant [ie when he was overseas]. It’s difficult for the majority of New Zealanders who have not experienced that particular experience [ie of having travelled to other countries where they are a minority].

Interacting with each other. Unless you make a concerted effort. A lot of people I know are religious Christian. But most people that I mingle with are Pākehā. I try a little bit like studying at the wananaga for a year and going on to the marae, I made a little bit of an effort. You have to make a real effort [to mingle with diverse people; she was trying to express that it didn’t come easily and she had to work hard at it].

Needs to be shift in the way that we understand how minority groups function in our society and recognise that minority groups are integral in our society – in a structural and surface level […] people don’t necessarily understand why karakia, for example, are important.

More Pākehā need to wake up to the reality of this world/society for non-Pākehā

I need more experience in NZ culture

Pākehā need to join these conversations. Get more Pākehā to engage in the discussion about what inclusion, integration and acceptance means. Everywhere you go, you have to integrate with the people there. I find that Pākehā are a huge problem because they don’t want it. Most other migrants – they make [an] effort to integrate, and finally go back into their own cocoons because they give up.

Try and represent the stats that are in the community in a balanced way. At the moment it’s Māori and non-Māori, but it should be different cultures, Indian, African, whatever.

First, we could probably help people, Kiwis, learn about other cultures, other genders. The basis of prejudice and racism is just ignorance. It’s derived because people are so afraid of offending that they would go out of their way of not engaging with people who are different to them. People saying they wouldn’t go to the local marae because they are afraid of parking in the wrong spot or saying something. The local marae is very welcoming. Suddenly they saw it’s not so difficult. Helping people break this fear of offending someone, that they might make mistakes. I don’t know any migrants who would be offended if someone wanted to engage with them.

Increase awareness about the existence and strong negative effects of racism in our society

Maybe more Māori learning, Māori history, so Māori start listening to Māori struggles. Rather than what’s happening in Iraq. So they build more of an understanding. So that our mainstream isn’t so mainstream. You need to acknowledge all those cultures.

You need to experience the hospitality of a local to a stranger. I’ve taken people off the beaten track and shown them a whole new world. In today’s world the level of interpersonal trust is so low. In the past it was way up here [held hand up at head height to indicate high level of trust], now it’s here [held hand low to ground to indicate low level of trust].

Opportunities for meeting each other across cultural and other differences. So, in the wee town where I live, we have a multi-cultural festival. I had an idea once of having a rainbow picnic in pride week, and it’s taken off. We take over the park, and there has never been any opposition. The mayor and politicians come. Being visible. If there were more opportunities for events like that where people could participate. Also, because it’s a small town.

Individuals need to take stock about their own prejudices. Exposure to the differences has educated me. Exposure to different cultures and different ways. It takes the fear and anxiety out of it. You have to take responsibility for yourself.

I think people should, need to be retaught how to respect everyone in different ways. Some are still very bad about people with a different background to them. People with a different culture, it’s not too scary to learn or mix with. They need to open their eyes and widen their mind. They don’t realise, if they were in trouble, who will save them? Someone of a different culture will save them.

We need a society based on care and compassion, not dollars.

Empathy is amazing though. I have learnt from how I was as a child and some of the jokes that I would make as a kid compared to now. It's not a good thing to joke about [race, exclusion]. I have empathy for women; my role models are women.....empathy is important.

We have to be [a] positive role model. If they can’t see anyone

If someone could have uplifted me, and helped me, just given me… I had one friend’s mum who looked into my mum. I would have liked just one friend out in the community who just sticks around.

The thing that makes me feel excluded is general rudeness or that there’s kind of an unspoken cultural hierarchy and expectations of how we should behave. I feel like if people could just look outside of that. Stop, think, take some time to think about other people.

She was a fantastic [Jacinda Ardern] for example after Christchurch, she really stepped up there in terms of inclusiveness, saying we’re all the same, we all need to care for each other.

Everyone needs to love humanity as a whole, live within our means, and stop trashing the planet.

Accountability for actions - I don't mean we punish people for their wrongs (although sometimes this is valid) but I think we need to embrace a culture where failures are seen as opportunities for growth and learnings - all with an approach to be kind.

We live in a colonial country, not post colonial. We do have a Treaty. When we think about who gets to belong, where and why do they belong there. I don’t think it should be who gets to belong, but the kind of belonging [we have].

I was born in Belgium. My parents are not Belgian, but I feel Belgian. In NZ, I’ve been made to feel at home. My dad is Italian and mum is French. It’s the same in Belgium, I feel at home. Biggest problem in the world is Nationalism. Unity is important, but I’m more interested in people's political ideology. Like people feeling better than another person because of where you come from.

There’s a deeper question underpinning that: where do you belong? Who gets to belong? Maybe a harsh question: why does one person say they get to belong there. Entitlement and expectation.

Empowerment, that’s what rangatiratanga is about, self-development. That’s what the state needs to do. They are using these kupu Māori, but not living up to that.

Moerewa been in the news a lot lately. We’ve got a bit of a drug issue. We’re still human. We’ve got good people here. We need to remember that human connection. We’ve all got feelings. No matter where you come from, whether you’re rich or poor, were all human.